Mike R.

Life Purpose Statement

I am patient and persevering who pursues positive outcomes.

As you progressed through the coaching journey, how did it change things for you?

When I was a kid, I always wanted one of those “No Fear” t-shirts. I never got one until, as an adult, I realized I didn’t need one. I’m no longer afraid to take risks, be vulnerable and honest. These things are not suddenly easy for me. It still takes courage to do these things. In the past, however, I never would have taken the chance.

What strengths do you feel you have deepened an understanding of from the experience of coaching?

I might say rather than deepening an understanding of strengths that I have learned to allow myself to trust those strengths. I’ve learned to believe in myself and in my abilities. I think that coaching showed me ways to tap into that trust, and gave me strategies to enhance, or make use of, or rely on those strengths.

What new strategies have you developed as a result of coaching?

I trust myself more. I doubt less, and I catch myself before I make mistakes that I’ve been making over and over for years. I’m not sure what the strategy is, but it’s one that has me stop and ask what the decision I’m about to make is in the service of. Another strategy is to cross-check that answer with the answers I think my captains might give.

How did you surprise yourself through coaching?

I didn’t think I’d be able to trust Mara. Not because of who she is, but because of who I was when I began coaching, and because of past experiences with therapists. It was difficult for me to be open and honest with people who were little more than strangers. There was not one time I felt awkward or uncomfortable with Mara. I suppose this is as much a testament to her skill as it is to how I surprised myself! In short, I don’t think I would have been able to surprise myself in this way without her presence. It’s very much a synergistic relationship when working with Mara.

What do you see as the major insights or breakthroughs you made through coaching?

I think I learned that what I had done in the past was please others, make a martyr of myself, and then rationalize those decisions. What I know now is that I can make decisions and take actions that result in a win-win outcome. I think I learned (maybe I didn’t learn it but I believe it now) that I am a pretty good person and have a lot to offer just by being me.

What was the thing you benefited from the most in coaching?

I was able to cut ties to stupid shit that lived waaaay in the past. I heard a line the other day that went something like, “only a fool trips on obstacles that are behind him.” By that definition, I was living like a fool. Today I make different decisions because I know what lies down those other roads. I’ve been there before, and they all lead to the same place. I’m taking new roads now, and although they’re not necessarily all mapped out, I know I’m not going to fall down the same open man-hole cover on the same street.

What will you now do differently?

Live more fully. And I think a good definition for that, or an example of that, is that I will trust in the goodness of others as opposed to operating under the assumption that everyone else has an agenda and therefore I should too. There is a lot of good in the world. Even more simply, there is a lot in the world, and I’m not afraid to go look for it being exactly who I am.

You know my life’s purpose is to radiantly illuminate passionate possibilities for you to live empowered. How was I radiant?

Whether you know it or not, you do glow. Your photo in the cowboy hat exemplifies that, but so much of what we did was over the phone, and the true testament to what you do (and how well you do it) is that you radiate through your voice alone. Your voice let me know that you really are invested in what you’re doing, invested in me as a person, and not just my check to you that may or may not be exactly on time!

What was illuminated?

Options! Once I went to a clinic for coaching hockey and herb brooks (1980 gold medal winning coach for Team USA) was a speaker. The theme of his presentation was “Strategy”. He went through several different offensive and defensive strategies, and the common theme among them was that they were not set in stone, because each strategy led to a set of options for both players and the coaches. In this way, options were illuminated. In the past I would see only one option, because I was certain there was a right answer. Like Herb Brooks, Mara has helped me to see the options in every decision that I make.

Where did you connect to passion? Where did you see me connecting to passion?

I think I connected to passion by honestly identifying to myself exactly what is important to me and what I want to get out of life. You connected to that passion by encouraging me to go get it, helping me see that I was in control of getting it, that I deserved it, and that I had the skills necessary to get it. In order to connect to my passions, you connected with me. That made a huge difference.

What’s possible because of coaching with me?

I think it would be a bit cheeky to say that all things are possible. Try though I might, I still can’t defy gravity. But I do believe that the ceiling I once perceived was set at a certain height by none other than me. If I am limited, it is likely because I am choosing to limit myself. In that way, all things are (mostly) possible, because I know that a majority of the limitations I face were created by my judge. I can blast through those now.

What does living empowered mean to you?

I’m moving at the end of January, because I took risks, reached out to the people I do know, made myself vulnerable, and asked for help. As a result, I’ve got my feet in a couple different doors, and things are not stagnant. Things are moving and progressing. I’m taking advantage of my strengths, putting them to use, and allowing myself to go after the opportunities that are presented as a result!

What 3 adjectives would you use to describe Mara?

Comfortable
Professional
Human

What would you say to people thinking of working with me?

Just try it. I, too, was skeptical of a “coach”, but having seen therapists before (and not gotten anywhere), I can say that this is not the same thing and will, therefore, yield different results. Just try it.