Asking for Help & Compassion

I’m angry this afternoon.

I honestly don’t know one person, and I know a lot of people, who really REALLY likes, or in the least doesn’t mind at some level, asking for help.  I don’t know if it’s cultural, familial or what, but people I interact with generally don’t like to ask for help.

I’m angry because of how someone I care about was treated after asking for help.  They reached out, despite the difficulty, to someone in a leadership role who regularly offers to help.  That was over 2 weeks ago.  They got no response, zippo, zilch.  They happened to see the person and mentioned they hadn’t heard back.  A meeting was had.  The outcome of the meeting wasn’t the issue.  How the person was treated has everything to do with why people don’t ask for help.  They weren’t acknowledged, they were treated abrasively, there was no accountability for the total lack of response.

Consider this.  You ask for help.  You get STEPPED on.  Will you ask again?  I think not.

Compassion is a word one of my friends said she was going to work on to exemplify more in the new year.  I love the definition of the word: “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”  I love that the word encompasses feeling and action.  First, put yourself in the shoes of another and feel what they are going through, then, desire action to alleviate the situation.

I observe that many people will suggest an action or tell someone what to do to alleviate their suffering, all the while stepping right over the feeling.  Stepping over the feeling is what I mean by getting stepped on.  By stepping over the feeling, you step right on the heart of the individual at hand.  And, often, by stepping on them, you crush their desire to move toward any action.  I believe the first part of compassion is more important than the second.  If we all worked a little harder to truly feel for another, the outcome will matter less.

I am reminded through my anger to be compassionate at the highest level possible, starting first with feeling.  Whether a hug, a word, a look, a letter, a phone call, a text….please please please give more compassion.