There are so many hard things that must be talked about. On global, national, community, and personal levels. Things like the environment, civil rights, social justice, accountability, and relationships to name a few that are swirling in my mind. No matter how heavy, hard, and overwhelming things get, we must talk about hard things.
Charlottesville. I don’t have words. And, one of my mentors and heroes, Brené Brown provided some amazingly inspiring and education words this week. She talks about how we must own our collective story, our collective historical story. She says there is power in understanding that, “the pain and discomfort of owning that story, is tiny compared to the pain and discomfort of living out that story.” She continues to tell us about the three things we must understand in order to own a collective historical story: privilege, perspective taking, and power.
I’m asking that you please listen to her Facebook live session that she did this week.
One of the most compelling reminders Brené gives during this talk is about anger, what anger is, and what we must do with it. She says,
“People get uncomfortable with anger…that’s shame code for ‘you’re making me uncomfortable’…My job is not to make people comfortable. Your job is not to make people comfortable. But my job is to take care of myself so I can stay engaged in hard conversations. So, you need to practice self care. You need to be angry when you’re angry, but also know that anger as an emotion; great catalyst, terrible lifetime companion. Great catalyst. Be angry, but turn it into something else. Because just to live with anger serves no one. It is a catalyst emotion you have to do something with it, otherwise it turns into bitterness and resentment and illness, real illness.”
We must continue having hard conversations, even when they make ourselves or others uncomfortable. We must practice self care, which means being angry at times. We must allow anger to be a catalyst for the something else. And, the something else must involve understanding privilege, power, and perspective taking if we’re going to own our stories and make a positive shift.
Please watch the video.